dodatek k 23. aneb říkejte mi idiote

11. srpna 2014 v 1:20 | k
ahoj znovu.

achjo. zabte mě. tak ráda jsem byla za ten jídelník. ale v deset to přišlo... chleba s medovym máslem, miska kornflejků a sklenička sojovýho mlíka. ale bylo mi tak šíleně špatně od žaludku, že to muselo jít ven. aspoň půlka. šlo to snadno. ale cejtim se ještě hůř. s miou jsem se kamarádila vždycky jenom hodně okrajově. ale nechci ani to. nesnášim se.

tak jsem hledala po hashtagem depression na tumblru. a pár si jich tu vypíšu...

i'm always the worst at night.

mirror, mirror, on my wall,
i just want to be thin, pretty and tall.
mirror, mirror, if i change my hair,
maybe someone will start to care?
mirror, mirror, if i starve myself,
at least i'll be beautiful, forget my health.
mirror, mirror, if i cut my wrist,
will i feel like i exist?
mirror, mirror, don't you see?
what you show is ruining me.

i don't think they realize how sleepless nights can affect you or how overthinking slowly kills you. i don't think they know how it can turn your mind into thoughts you wish weren't yours.

my biggest fear is that eventually you will see me the way i see myself.

i've had so many words to say but i had no courage.

i definitely lost my mind.
i feel lost inside myself.
i don't even know where i'm going.
what the hell is wrong with me?
you know nothing, my dear.
i try so hard to be happy, i swear.
i'm not enough, i know, i'm sorry.
everything i'm running away from is in my head.
i thought you meant what you promised, silly me.
all i need is a little bit of hope.
the hardest person to love is myself.
i keep quiet 'cause i'm afraid that you could leave.

- nothing, i'm (since 1995)

what's next?

xoxo, k
 

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